A fortunate addition to the original concepts of Bowen family systems theory, sibling position can be quite informative in understanding human behavior in general and one’s own behavior in particular. How does your best thinking affect your propensity to live out the characteristics of your sibling position?

Sibling Position – A Personality Indicator That is Both Static and Dynamic
In the 1960’s, Dr. Walter Toman became well known for his pioneering studies in family member positioning. He created a picture, if you will, of basic types of sibling profiles that gave an impression of how each sibling was apt to behave and their potential — all things being equal — of a successful life course.

With regard to being static, it differs from other types of personality indicators such as the Myers-Briggs or Riso-Hudson in that one’s sibling position never changes. One can take the Myers-Briggs three times at three different junctures in one’s life, and score three different ways. Your sibling position remains static and yet affects your life and the lives of others in a dynamic way.

Bringing Your Birth Order Position to the Marital Relationship
Toman’s belief was that marital partners have complimentary, partially complimentary, or non-complimentary sibling positions.

Those with non-complimentary sibling positions (such as a wife and husband who are both youngest siblings) have more marital difficulty than do those with complimentary (a youngest brother of sisters married to an oldest sister of brothers) or partially complimentary sibling positions (an oldest brother of brothers paired with a youngest sister of sisters).

Personality Characteristics Based on Years of Research
Dr. Murray Bowen wrote, “Based on my research and therapy, I believe that no single piece of data is more important than knowing the sibling position of people in the present and past generations.”

The Multigenerational Transmission Process speaks to what families look like over the span of at least three generations, and much can be gained by examining generational patterns while considering one’s sibling position.

Doctors Toman and Bowen shared a great deal in their thinking with respect to sibling position, yet one of Bowen’s departures was that of how anxiety plays a role in sibling position profiles.

Brothers, Sisters, and the Anxious Presence
Your birth order says a lot about you. Yet it is propensity and not destiny. There is no superior sibling position, although envy of the other positions seems common! When you are anxious, your tendency to fulfill your sibling position characteristics grows.

For example, the youngest brother of sisters will, when under pressure, be more apt to play the “needy” card, gaining the attention and affection of older women.
It’s been known to come in handy, but ultimately it is an abdication of personal responsibility. How is anxiety affecting your propensity to typify your sibling position?